Anti-Resistance Thursday

I'm getting severe Resistance this week (I am going to London/Oxford next week, so can you blame me?) and writing a pitiful amount of words. Some of my writing buddies finished their drafts yesterday. Argh.

Oh well. This is a trip I've dreamed about for a long time and I just cannot wait.

But I'll leave you with some good thoughts on Resistance.

Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you're feeling massive Resistance, the good news is, it means there's tremendous love there too. If you didn't love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn't feel anything. The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference.

The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you--and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.

Playing on the iPod: Stranded (Plumb)

Fighting Resistance Thursday

Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of inspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it. If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), "Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?" chance are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.

Good thoughts, right? As always, from Steven Pressfield's War of Art. Great book! You need it!

Playing on the iPod: Stronger (Kanye West)

Fighting Resistance Thursday

I've been listening to Amy Winehouse this week (I can't stop; her music is just toe-tapping good) and her Rehab song is my favorite:

They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no.

And I sing that in my head when Resistance attempts to sidetrack me from my writing.

I won't go, go, go.

Between her and Lily Allen, my fall 2007 playlist has so much energy! I love it. (Yes, I know Amy W. does really need to go to rehab. I hope she does. If Ray Charles can kick heroin, so can she.)

Another note from War of Art,

If you find yourself criticizing other people, you're probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.

Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well.

Moving up toward 20k (just shy of 19k this morning) and hoping to continue the progress. Lots going on though, so I have to do other things than write.

Happy Thursday!

Talking 'Bout Resistance, Willis.

Well, have I had a week of it. This had nothing to do with the job or the freelance. The job actually was fantastic and has been loads of fun. The freelance is back down to a dull roar. The writing is actually going well too.

The Resistance has to do with being in the middle of friends fighting. Never mind that the friends are scattered all over the United States, but they had a get-together last week (that I had to miss) and major drama happened.

The timing of the inciting events just sucked, and the weekend was overshadowed by angry words and a whole lot of drama (on both sides) and I got drawn in to try and make peace by those who were not active participants, but who were significantly affected and stood watching on the sidelines.

It brought to mind some of my favorite parts of my book on resistance: The War of Art,

"Cruelty to others is a form of Resistance, as is the willing endurance of cruelty from others. . . . Creating soap operas in our lives is a symptom of Resistance. . . .

A victim act is a form of passive agression. It seeks to achieve gratification not by honest work or a contribution made out of one's experience or insight or love, but by the manipulation of others through silent (and not-so-silent) threat. The victim compels others to come to his rescue or to behave as he wishes by holding them hostage to the prospect of his further meltdown, or simply by threatening to make their lives so miserable that they do what he wants.

This will not be resolved anytime soon, and that's okay. A member of the group has left and perhaps others are preparing to go as well as a form of protest. That is fine. I believe everyone has a right to do as they please. It's a free country. I know they leave because certain behavior by the group just has gotten out of control. I've seen the behavior and the passive-agressive downright mean actions of a few people did not help the situation. But again, I believe everyone has a right to do as they please.

I just think we're a bit too developed as a society (not to mention friends for almost five years now) to be reverting to such low, insipid attacks. I am scunnered by it this morning (great scottish word, right?).

It just really smacks of Resistance to me. What in our lives are we avoiding by acting like this?

Remember, Steven Pressfield said it best in his prologue to War of Art:

You know, Hitler wanted to be an artist. At eighteen he took his inheritance, seven hundred kronen, and moved to Vienna to live and study. He applied to the Academy of Fine Arts and later to the School of Architecture. Ever seen one his paintings? Neither have I. Resistance beat him. Call it overstatement but I'll say it anyway: it was easier for Hitler to start World War II than it was for him to face a blank square of canvas.

Take down Resistance and just let it go.

Thursday Resistance

And I'm back with another few good thoughts about Resistance (and we have lived it this week; one thing after another after another after another).

Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.

Or this:

When a writer begins to overcome her Resistance--in other words, when she actually starts to write--she may find that those close to her begin acting strangely. They may become moody or sullen, they may get sick; they may accuse the writer of "changing," of "not being the person she was." The closer these people are to the awakening writer, the more bizarrely they will act and the more emotion they will put behind their actions.

They are trying to sabotage her.

The reason is that they are struggling, consciously or unconsciously, against their own Resistance. The awakening writer's success becomes a reproach to them. If she can beat these demons, why can't they?

Often close friends (or colleagues, families, couples) will enter into tacit compacts whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough in which she and all her cronies have become so comfortable. The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket.

The awakening artist must be ruthless, not only with herself, but with others. Once you make your break, you can't turn around for your buddy who catches his trouser leg on the barbed wire. The best thing you can do for that friend (and he'd tell you this himself, if he really is your friend) is to get over the wall and keep motating. The best and only thing that one artist can do for another is to serve as an example and an inspiration.

Cultural Literacy.

Thinking a lot about engaging with our culture lately. I know people who don't read fiction (who don't know the difference between fiction and non-fiction) and yet attempt to change our culture.

Please excuse me while I go laugh out loud.

This is not the way to change anything. If you don't yearn for cultural literacy, and then seek to find out how people view the world (from their viewpoint, not yours), you'll get nowhere.

Please don't settle, people. When we think we've got a grasp on our culture and don't have to read fiction (and non-fiction) in order to know how to interact with other people . . . because we know it all already . . . we need to wake up. We are deceiving ourselves. I didn't say it. E.D. Hirsch Jr. did. Read the book.

Keep moving forward.

Striving For Perfect

So, hubby is finishing a class paper for his last class and I get to edit (I'm delighted to help him in this way; his professors have no idea that he's married to a professional writer and editor) and last night I started to edit his fine writing that talks about how Henry Ford exhibited or did not exhibit the 21 Laws of Leadership in building Ford Motor into a powerhouse company. I started to developmentally advise him on how to make this stronger here, how to soften his intention here, and he stopped me and said "hey, you don't have to make this perfect. I'll take a B. We don't have to get 100% every time."

And I took a breath and relaxed.

What is it with me? I am going to have to lower my expectation threshold significantly in the next few weeks due to a huge change in my business and focus. I'm going to have to calm down and quit trying to make everything perfect.

I run at such high levels that I am a bit concerned that I will know how to slow down.

As a writer though, especially one who HAS TO THINK to write, this is so vital. When faced with multiple projects and magazine queries and novel writing, it is so easy (for me) to just take it all on and try to conquer the goals I've set up by brute force. That is not the power of a writer.

Someone told me a long time ago, "If you can't beat it straight up, just be a heck of a lot smarter."

I think THAT is a writer. I can't do all the goals I have AND write amazing prose. I have to choose. Well, I've already chosen. And now in the next two weeks, I will be learning how to DO that. On a daily basis.

I learn something all the time. I'm so glad.

Keep moving forward.

A New Day.

No, I'm not singing Celine Dion songs on this blog. It really is a new day. Hubby finished the first draft of his final school paper. He's off golfing to celebrate. In the rain.

My writing work has begun in earnest again. Book reviews, essays, non-fiction, fiction. I'm excited and will be sharing more on this blog in the coming days.

Writing is thinking, you know. If you're trying to write something and you find yourself having a hard time thinking, you need to step back and think before writing. Does that make sense?

Especially in non-fiction, it's not so much about the news (I'm talking about expository or persuasive writing, not so much journalism) as about expressing your viewpoint about the subject. People appreciate a strong viewpoint that has something to say. Even if it's contentious, people would rather hear it said strong than "I think . . ." or "If I could say . . ."

So write firmly, with conviction, and keep moving forward.

I sure am.

Finally, it's Friday!

You've got to click over and see pictures of my girl, Allison Winn Scotch at her first Borders book signing. She wrote a great book! And she's a Mom! And knows how to juggle!

Allison's book signing in New York

I am so glad it's Friday. For one thing, the work is headed out of here! Woohoo! For another thing, the end is in sight.

I love the end. I love when the end is in sight and things are starting to wrap up. But, and this is funny, I also love thinking about the end when I'm in the middle of it all. You know "once I get all this done, then . . ."

I used to relish being in the middle of everything (I still do to some extent), but I'm changing. I love being in the middle of a writing project, I love the thrill of research and taking notes, but I have to have many endings. Short bursts of energy, followed by "wow, look what I finished."

It's kind of a curse, actuallyl. You see, I share Martha Stewart's birthday and she's the same way. She does projects and has short acomplishments that she calls instant gratification. When planting a new garden, painting a room, cooking a meal, when she accomplishes something, it spurs her on to accomplish more.

That's me! That's me! (waving my hand frantically at you)

I'm the same way. It's been interesting to apply that to life as a writer. I think it comes from the daily writing hour I get in the early mornings. (This week, everything is haywire!) I am already looking forward to Monday when I can get back to my WIP.

Have a great weekend! Keep Moving Forward!

Heads up!

Whew. Lots of phone time today. I'm worn out and ready to quit talking and start work. Yeah sure. It's only 2 pm already.

Anyway, lots going on, not much I can share about, but exciting and very cool prospects ahead for this girl. I'm really psyched!

Have not had writing time this week as a result of the chemistry textbook I have been buried in. Seriously, I edited all afternoon yesterday on it and when hubby came home I looked at him like "who are you?"

I'd forgotten what day it was. That's deep.

Just a few more chapters and it's outta here. I can't wait. Not that the author hasn't been a dream, but it's not my thing. Ugh.

I'll have progress on the WIP next week! Oooo, and news.

Here. There. Where?

So it's one of those days. I took a personality test that all of us writers are taking (some writer got a press release on it this morning) and I'm a full-blown visionary. Well, I knew that, but seeing it in print, knowing that it's true. Kinda takes the wind out of your sails.

I mean, it's a good thing and all, but gee, now I know why it's so hard to live day by day and to stick to a plan.

Sure, I can stick to a plan, but by this time tomorrow, I will have different viewpoints about how to go about that plan.

Being a visionary is necessary for my work: writing, planning, process management. But it's detrimental to getting that work finished. I get bogged down in the middle.

There, I said it. I'm bogged down in the middle of multiple client projects, ideas for multiple personal writing projects, and deciding the best approach to it all.

It wears me out. But this is me. This is who I am.

Today's question is no longer between a and b, but between c and d, dropping plan e, but thinking through what choosing c or d will mean to my plans for c.

Confused yet?

Me too.

This is my brain. Thus, I'm troubled by this visionary thing. It sounds all cool and inspiring, but try making decisions with this brain. Try getting ahead on your deadlines with this brain. Try keeping the plan the same from week to week with this brain. Impossible.

And they said my Myers-Briggs personality, INFP, was that of a writer who could change the world.

Inside my head is laughter. Sorry.

Keep moving forward.

Short-Term Memory

The attack of the short-term memory snatcher has begun in earnest. I am still juggling six projects, but making headway on them, finally.

However, I am working on this one project that has been going for a while and I look and can't remember why I handled those references that way, when I'm sure I knew to handle them another way.

Whatever.

The sunshine has been out now for over 24 hours and we are loving it. It feels so good to have the sunshine (warm sunshine) again.

I've been reading in snatches (just like the writing) and read Alice Hoffman's Incantation yesterday that I picked up at the Scholastic Book Fair over the weekend. Wow. Blew me away. A very short book that is packed full of the emotion of so much. A riveting and perfect coming-of-age story. Jodi Picoult reads Hoffman voraciously and I had started one of her books years ago, but never finished. I am now another voracious Hoffman reader. I recommend!

Writing is wavering between 11,000 and 12,000 words this week. We may get up past 15,000 rather quickly and end higher than anticipated. I've got to make Lenora and Cassie clash and "un-interact" this week in their peculiar mother-daughter way. I'm really feeling this story.

If you have a Twitter account, please friend me (see Twitter sidebar box). Just another thing to get addicted to, but addicted I am!

Keep Moving Forward.

Clarity.

So how come other people can point out in your life what you just can't see?

It's the theme of countless books, movies, plays (Two Gentlemen of Verona by Shakespeare), and everyday life.

I am bewildered and a bit overwhelmed with my to-do list. Six projects running concurrently and enough going haywire in them to completely mess me up on a regular basis. I keep revising my to-do list and figuring out exactly what I should do first: earliest due dates, work that I hate that is bugging me the most.

But I get into the middle of it and get muddled again. It is a hourly battle to stay on task right now and I'm not sure why.

I have seen a glimpse of where I'm going (writing and learning and limiting my copyediting), but I have to get through this to-do list first, before I can jump in gleefully to my next thing.

I think that may be the real problem. We always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, don't we?

I know I do.

So my task today is to write, keep to my to-do list, and to floss. And to not pick up my tomorrow tasks, no matter how badly I want to.

Progress on the WIP continues, heading to 15k this week and beyond.

Keep moving forward.

Hey, I thought April rain meant May flowers.

Yup, raining today in Seattle. I'm used to that, but it's been a hard winter for us, so I'm ready for sunshine.

Or perhaps the weather knows that I have too much work in May and it's saving the good weather for June when I can enjoy it.

Great quote this morning by the late, great David Halberstam (who was killed in a car crash last month) "Being a professional means doing the things you love on the days you don't want to do them."

Halberstam was a Pulitzer Prize winner and at his death was working on multiple books, I'm so sad to say. The world has lost a great, great writer.

His quote rings true today, for me. I love what I do. LOVE it. I just have had so many days of late that were like waking up on the wrong side of the bed. And freelancers don't get sick leave, mind you.

But, I feel much better after a weekend with family and friends and I feel confident that I can accomplish what needs to be done today. With joy. That's my job today.

Is there something you're avoiding doing today? Having a hard time finding the joy to do it?

Keep Moving Forward.

Busy Thursday.

I have been on the phone all morning it seems. Lots of appointments. So glad for a cordless headset.

Today I'm thinking a lot about change. As humans, we seem to run from change or we run toward change. I think everyone is a mix. Sometimes, we crave a chance to mix it up; other times, we just want everything to stay the same for awhile so life can calm down.

I'm feeling the winds of change over my business, as I've talked about here before. I've thought long and hard about it, because I would just hate to wake up one morning in the future and realize that everything is different, wishing I could turn back time. I think that's a real fear of mine. Is this the right decision or the wrong decision?

I think that's where faith really comes into play. (Faith in whatever; lots of people have faith, and not just religious faith. I do , however, mean religious faith for my particular situation.) Do I have the strength (faith) to make a decision about this issue? Do I have enough faith to trust that even if I regret it later, I can still live with the consequences? (That sounds so dire; it's just a change in my business focus, really, folks.)

So, big decisions and deep thoughts today. I'm grateful for the advice of friends and family, grateful for my own reckoning powers, and grateful that I believe that I will be guided in this decision. I'm not making it alone.

Keep Moving Forward.

Still here.

Who would have thought being allergic to sulfa drugs would bring on such reactions? Still delerious at night, even with prednisone and Benadryl. Still feeling under the weather and very drugged, but other than that, I'm doing great.

So, I've been thinking quite a lot about England lately, probably because I'm headed there with a friend in the fall for a week. We're set to spend time mostly in Notting Hill and Soho, and will definitely waste a day in Harrod's (I am so excited!).

It's a dream come true for me to go (for my friend too) and I'm pleased our schedules are finally aligned so that it can happen. Todd is a bit bummed he doesn't get to go, but once he figured it he could call it a scouting trip for the "big trip" he and I will take later on, he was okay. Plus, I think he's relieved to not having to shop with two girls (shopping with just me is enough for him!).

I've been ruminating on sense of place in fiction. Where a book is set often sets the mood, tone, theme, and ultimately believability of a story. I mean, had Daphne du Maurier not set her book at Manderley, would we really believe that a mere housekeeper could frighten the second Mrs. de Winter quite so terribly? Or the setting for the new very "Rebecca"-esque "Thirteenth Tale" that came out in 2006. It is a delicious setting: another fine house, where the story of a crumbling old house is told. I get goosebumps even now and my sisters have borrowed the book from me. I may have to get another copy soon! in Elizabeth Kostova's "The Historian," her descriptions of Europe seen first through the eyes of a young girl and than her father years before just melt off the page and into your senses. You feel that you are there. I knew I could smell the dirt in the climactic scene when they climb down below the church, creepy and delicious as it was. Often, writers don't spend enough time luxuriating in a place so that their readers are drawn to spend time there. Even Janet Evanovich makes you feel the New Jersey heat rising from the asphalt roads, and you feel as if you too see the tired 1950s homes in her parents' neighborhood rising from your own imagination.

A good writer gives her readers just enough to dream for themselves. Thus, movies will never replace books. They'll just be a perfect complement for us book lovers who want to discover if what we dreamt matches what others imagined.

Keep Moving Forward.

A New Day

After a long weekend of extreme illness, I'm back. Whew. I'm surprised I'm still here. I do have a doc visit follow-up today to make sure I'm a-ok, but I feel so much better. I had a sulfa drug reaction, high fever, full-body rash and hives, itching, delirium, swollen ears, noses, fingers. So strange. First time ever I've reacted to drugs like that.

Thus, not much done on the writing. Could barely focus on my hours of movies that hubby kept putting in the DVD player to keep me busy the past three days like the BBC Pride & Prejudice.

I don't remember much of anything either, I was boiling at such a high temp (101.4 most of the time). Love aloe with lidocaine. It's my new favorite thing. And water, blessed water. I love it!

Thus, today is going to be spent putting things back together again and getting caught up with my clients. The writing work will commence this evening.

I have to say, however, three days on the couch did wonders for me. I feel so invigorated! I definitely needed time off. Now to do the laundry and the dishes that stacked up while I was sick. :)

Keep Moving Forward!

Juggling Illness and Projects

So how do you juggle being sick and taking care of multiple projects (with multiple deadlines). The answer? Keep the amazing clients, of course!

Don't be too quick to get rid of clients who understand that life is hard and things can change quickly, especially in spring, when allergies and colds are flying around. I usually don't get sick working by myself at home, but this time, a visit to the dentist and the clinic just exacerbated the situation.

But I try to work a week ahead at all times, so today, only two projects are imperative. And not a big deal. I have an author waiting to review his chapters and I need to clean up another few chapters for comp. I can do that! But know that this gal is spending the weekend on my couch. If I don't get better this weekend, then life won't look so good next week. :)

Thanks to Katharine O'Moore-Klopf of Editor Mom for her really good article on EFA members who blog (not a blog post, Katharine wrote an article for the print edition of the March-April issue of the EFA newsletter). She mentioned this blog along with several other worthy blogs in a great round-up of the multitalented people of EFA.

Welcome to all the EFA members who are surfing blogs as a result of that article. If you have a blog and want to trade links, just leave a comment. I'd be happy to link to you. If you're interested in joining EFA, visit here.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

And . . . yes.

Keep moving forward!

Shock.

I am having a day of quiet prayer and sorrow for those affected by the Virginia Tech shooting, so this will be brief.

I did hear from a colleague that her son, a student there, is okay, although he was outside the building where the shooter was and heard multiple shots being fired.

Please practice gratefulness today wherever you are for life, for love, for blessing.

And please keep the people who now face uncertain futures because of today's events in your prayers and good thoughts.

Don't Push Me Around

I hate confrontation with a passion. I will work very hard to avoid it when I can. I'm not weak, I just don't want to spend energy on it. I'd rather be creative.

But . . . there are days when I willingly use some of that creative energy to create boundaries in my life and push right back.

Like today. On the phone with my urgent care nursing service to get a script. All is well until I say something he (male nurse) doesn't like, or that reminds him that I'm just a stupid patient who knows NOTHING, and then all **** breaks loose.

I sit there for a minute after I hang up and then I hit redial. And ask for the charge nurse.

It was worth spending another 30 minutes on the phone to get a human being who actually has a clue. And, male nursey, if I'm in that much pain again, I go to the ER whether you think I should or not.

The charge nurse agreed and thanked me for standing up for myself.

I'm a healthy early 30s adult woman, but occasionally, I have issues, and the health care team is there to help me, not scold me.

So, lesson learned. When pushed a bit too far, I muster my creative energy and push the **** back.

Is someone moving in too close today? Push right back.

And keep moving forward.